Life Lessons From Honey Boo Boo

While my hubs was watching the ever stimulating presidential debate - I decided to occupy my time with something a little more educational

And by educational, I mean brain numbingly stupid

To which you are all saying, "Oh she must be speaking of Honey Boo Boo" - to which I would say...

"You better redneckognize!"

{yes, I skipped the debate  - it was the season finale - sue me}

For those who choose not to educate themselves on the earth shattering words of wisdom from the mouth of sweet little Alaina - let me help you...

{1.} "You have to eat a lot of gravy and rice if you want to be a supermodel." 

 

Apparently eating gobs of starch and sodium help melt those pounds away. Keep eating honey!

{2.} "I wish I had an extra finger, that way I could grab more cheeseballs."

*side note - her sister's new baby has two thumbs on one hand

 

I smell another talent for them pageants!

 

P.S. - Was anyone else's first thought not about cheeseball eating ability? Maybe more along the lines of why didn't they have the extra thumb REMOVED?

{3.} "Baby Kaitlyn is so tiny - I poop bigger."

 

That's momma's little sunshine right there! Probably because of all those cheeseballs - yuck

{4.} "Ain't nothing wrong with being a little gay - everyone's a little gay."

Glad to know you are embracing the LBGT community girlfriend.

{5.} "Baby Kaitlyn came on the biscuit express."

 

For those who do not speak white trash - a "biscuit" is slang for your whoha...hmm thanks for ruining the thought of ever eating another biscuit again for me Boo Boo

#americasyouth

Don't even get me started on the things that the rest of her inbred family says - they say a picture is worth a thousand words right?

Dear God, the site of June's 43rd chin just does me in

P.S. – June bug {Honey Boo Boo’s momma) is only in her early 30s…rock it girl, rock it!

I hope I look that damn awesome when I become a mother of 4 sgetti eating, baby making, pageant participating, gnat slapping, mud-bogging, breath smellin’ cuties!

 

All I am saying is if she can get a man {or at least one perchild} than there is hope for anyone!

 

#whatistheworldcomingto

 

- Lindsey Nicole